8 things they don't tell you about falling in love.
When I met my boyfriend, I wasn’t looking for anything. I’d finally accepted that being single was a-okay, and had promised myself that I’d work on bettering myself. It’s funny how the world works, and though it’s a cliché… “it’ll happen when you least expect it.”
If someone had said that to me, I would’ve punched them in the face and told them to go where the sun don’t shine. Now? I’m that person. I’ve turned the dark side, where my heart is extremely full and I’m as soppy as a 90’s romcom.
Falling in love can happen overnight, or it can be a slow process, that happens one day at a time. Whatever your situation is, I’m hoping a few of you might be able to relate. When I fell in love with my boyfriend, I didn’t realise what was happening.
Here are the eight things they don’t tell you about falling in love:
There is no “perfect” time to fall in love. When it happens, it happens. Sometimes it may take months, even years, to realise you’re in love with someone. In my case, it was a few weeks at the most. There’s a misconception in society that there’s an ideal amount of time to fall in love e.g. 3 months. Ignore what others think is the right time, and listen to yourself.
At some point or another, we all lie to ourselves. Whether you’re scared about getting hurt, or perhaps you feel it’s too fast, we try to convince ourselves that our feelings aren’t real. I think one of the biggest things about falling in love, is that it takes a lot of honesty from both parties. It takes a lot to look someone in the eyes and admit it, but when it’s reciprocated, there’s no better feeling.
3. Emotional Blockers
If you’ve ever been betrayed before, you’ll know what it feels like to have your mind screaming “NO!” at you. It’s a self-defence mechanism many of us have unfortunately picked up after emotional trauma or distress. Trust your instincts, and try to not let your negative emotions stop you from enjoying every moment.
Just like your mind might try to inflict doubt, you may find that it’s the people around you that are hesitant. Whether it’s your friends that are worried because you’re rushing into things, or perhaps your family doubts you’re capable of a relationship, do not listen. And when I say that, I mean you can listen to their advice, but don’t act upon it unless you truly feel they’re right. People try to protect us too much sometimes, and if you’re going to fall, you may as well own it.
THIS is what I wasn’t prepared for. When I fell in love, it was all I could think about. It consumed every thought, and there wasn’t a minute that went by that I wasn’t thinking of my new-found love. Believe me, you do eventually return to normality, but don’t let it stress you out!
6. Self Love
Something magical happens when you fall in love with someone, and that is that you actually fall in love with two people. Your partner… and yourself! Loving someone means you can find love in yourself – you accept yourself for who you are, and allow others to love you for you. It’s a very, very special part of falling in love that no one tells you about.
This shouldn’t be a surprised, but you just become a lot happier. I know, “happiness can only be found within” etc, but damn when you have someone to share all that happiness with, you can’t wipe the smile off your face!
8. Future Thinking
The last thing I was surprised about was how my future started forming before my very eyes. I’ve never really had a ‘game plan’, and moved to London to try and sort my life out and work out what I wanted to do. When you share your life with another person, you also share your future with them. Now? We know we want to move somewhere else in the world, both want at least two doggos (hurrah!) and don’t mind buying a house until later in life.
Whatever stage you are in life, I hope you are happy and find love one day. Whether that means finding love within yourself, or being able to share it with someone else, it’s a truly special thing. Elle x